Are Vaccinations Logical? - Mad Lib

Jonathan Shelley
Mar 26, 2015

My name is Trusting Tom, and I live in a country where there are several crime lords and mob bosses (pharmaceutical companies and government agencies), which have brought to my attention the needed defense against home invasions (diseases) resulting in death. Now, I have never been victim to such a horrible tragedy nor do I know anyone who has been affected by this ill-fated circumstance but I have seen stories in the news and these organizations provide details of horrible incidents. I took this matter very seriously and after researching the issue, I feel it is the best option to comply with these organizations.

To ensure protection, the organizations tell me I need to have routine scheduled home invasions (vaccinations) which will help increase my home security (immune system) against the threat of unforeseeable outbreaks. While no one in my neighborhood has experienced this type of outbreak, the news stations have reported various occurrences and it troubles me that so many families may be unprotected. Unfortunately, I have a fanatical religious neighbor, Skeptical Sam, who does not partake in this form of protection and finds the entire system criminal, but I have not heeded any of his warnings especially since his opinion is in the grave minority.

The first routine visit is described as allowing a certified provider to place six of the most notorious burglars (diseases) into my home (body) to help strengthen my home security (immune system). *Note these actions are not to be administered without direct supervision from a certified organization provider, there is an increased chance of harm for those who attempt at providing this service on their own. Upon arrival, the provider will take hold of the participant’s door (arm) and inject each of the six burglars (vaccinations) into your home (body). This can cause some initial discomfort and for many there will be slight injury to your peace of mind due to broken windows, damaged doors, stolen items, (fever, redness, swelling,) and in rare cases death. But these risks have been reduced and very few participants ever experience life-threatening occurrences.

Many, don’t understand that humans have a natural response to such harsh events and create defenses to ward off future threats. In fact, most who experience this type of outbreak never have to be subjected again. Some people fear allowing many harmful burglars (diseases) into your home (body) at the same time would increase your risk of injury or death but these organizations have assured participants that only one criminal (infectious cell) from each crime syndicate (disease pool) will be administered. *Note the burglar (infectious cell) has been isolated and carefully analyzed to provide the lowest risk of serious injury.

These organizations have declared it extremely safe to have all six clustered together, yet a few families deem it safer to space these visits out, which is still acceptable but not recommended. The subsequent visits are similar and will introduce additional and previous crime lord groups (diseases) to ensure maximum protection from such events and to ward off all the various criminals (strains) within each group.

Sam, my neighbor, claims this system is foolish, and that most victims who survive an outbreak don’t experience these events again due to the subsequent actions of purchasing a security system, buying fire arms, maintaining secure locks, and getting a dog (an increased immune system, avoiding public outbreaks, and increased sanitation). Additionally, he claims that this “protection” does not ward off against new crime syndicates (diseases) or individual outbreaks (mutations) of previous invasions (injections).

I agree that additional protection is a must, but I trust that the organizations offer this program for a reason. In fact, individuals who do not partake in these routine visits will be faced with enormous amounts of pressure by these organizations; threats (warnings) of life style, and in some cases restriction of public areas. Sam sees this type of conduct by the organizations as unlawful and questions their integrity due to their extreme approach.

I don’t understand why Sam is concerned, the organizations provide charts showing how in the past there were many more deaths due to home invasions (illness) and crime (disease) which was rampant in the early 1900’s. [1] Yet, despite the overall increase in civility (health) of our country over the last few hundred years, Sam seems reluctant. He claims the reduction in danger is a result of better law enforcement and overall home security (water and overall sanitation). Sam states that there was already a dramatic reduction from the 1900’s to 1950’s before these routine visits began and that the decline from the 50’s to now, was in no part due to these outrageous visitations. [2] [3] Additionally, he claims that by the 2000’s death from some home invasions (diseases) were relatively non-existent and the recent increase in theft, rape, property damage, (autism, autoimmune disease, allergies, ADHD,) and even death has been partly caused by these routine visits. [4] [5] This recent increase in new problems has fueled the crime lords and mob bosses (pharmaceutical companies and government agencies) to establish new payment protection centers (charities) dedicated to helping find solutions or cures to these increasing problems. These new centers hope by raising money they will find out what the biggest factors are surrounding these new problems. Yet despite our increasing technology and science, these groups have no real understanding of what is causing these occurrences over the last decade of research. Sam, claims this too is not a surprise as he believes the biggest factor would be these routine visitations. While I agree these numbers are on rise, the organizations have stated this is a simple coincidence.

Sam further mentions that other industrialized nations located in Europe, Japan, and China do not perform as many routine visits have a lower infant mortality rate. While this is factual, I remain convinced that these visits are very effective and this is just another coincidence. Japan seems to have the lowest infant mortality death rate and only has around 11 visitations with children under the age of two while my country has around 32 visitations and has a coincidental three times higher mortality rate. [6] Hopefully, the crime lords and mob bosses (pharmaceutical companies and government agencies) will also look into this issue and possibly establish more payment protection centers (charities) to find solutions.

I have also felt pressure from the organizations to convince Sam that he is putting our neighborhood at risk by not participating. Yet, Sam replies that if such visits were effective then I should have nothing to worry about. I agree Sam is right, but I still don’t like the threats (warnings) that these organizations mandate and wish he would just comply.

Lastly, I haven’t yet explained the best part about these visitations, which is that you get to help pay for them. These protection payments (vaccination payments) are a relatively small fee to ensure a major outbreak does not occur. The financial, emotional, and physical devastation that can occur to families from an outbreak is not a laughing matter and while insurance coverage can help with some of the costs, your family’s physical wellbeing cannot be so easily repaired. Sam suggests that these organizations are receiving so much money from these payments they cannot be trusted to admit the problems or risks. [7] Sam states that in 2010 several money handlers (lobbyists) from the largest crime syndicates (pharmaceutical companies) paid millions in bribes (lobbying efforts) to the mob bosses (government agencies) in the first quarter of 2010. [8] Then in 2011 the mob bosses (government agencies) provided contracts to six of the largest crime syndicates (pharmaceutical companies) in excess of $5.7 billion dollars. [9] According to the crime syndicates (pharmaceutical companies) 90% of these contracts go to the fixed costs, which only leaves 10% for profit. Meaning these six crime syndicates (pharmaceutical companies) may have only averaged around $95 million in profits from just these contracts alone. This equates to around $260,000 a day or over $10,000 per hour. Jokingly, I admitted to Sam that I could pay off all of my debt in just one day!

I must admit these numbers did give me some concern, but I’m sure this is all part of usual business. Sam then went on to say that the mob bosses (government agencies) actually keep a Hush Money Fund (Vaccination Injury Compensation Program) in case some of this visitations go awry. [10] By 2001, the mob bosses (government) had paid over $1 billion in payoffs (claims) to those victims of such visitations. Additionally, over 1,000 families had been paid off (compensated) while the other 4,000 claims were dismissed. [11] I guess I knew there were risks, but the crime lords and mob bosses (pharmaceutical companies and government agencies) have assured me this is typical behavior and I have nothing to worry about.

In summary, there are many issues that my neighbor is convinced of but the crime lords and mob bosses (pharmaceutical companies and government agencies) have stated many times these visitations are safe and the best protection for me and my family. Sam is still opposed due to religious beliefs [12] and he considers the love of money [13] to be too powerful for these organizations to be convicted of cashing in on a worthless and possibly harmful program. Yet, I remain won over by the fancy charts and news stories these organizations provide for my peace of mind. Sam says if these visitations truly were beneficial these organizations would simply show the proven statistics of families who participate and those families whom don’t, to see the direct impact of these visitations. Sam dislikes how the most notorious mob boss (CDC) claims there is no conclusive evidence that these visitations have any adverse reactions but certainly would never deny it. [14] Yet, I don’t question these suspicions because I know I can trust these organizations, just as I do on every other issue like murder, robbery, theft, rape, lying, stealing, money laundering, racketeering, and more (morality, abortion, same-sex marriage, health-care, military, budget deficit, education, social security, post office, government agencies, healthcare website, foreign affairs [*Benghazi], Patriot Act, NSA phone tapping, IRS attacks, voter fraud, payoffs, and even scandals). These organizations have shown to be extremely trustworthy in the past and in the present. Despite Sam’s skepticism, I remain confident to put my family’s safety and physical well-being in their hands. Hopefully, you too can make the best choice for you and your family!

- Tom



1 – 2012.


2 – Generic. Where Do They Find These Scary Statistics? Part II: Gross Estimation–Diphtheria Statistics Defy Reality. July 28, 2008.


3 – Health Impact News Editor. Are Unvaccinated People Being Wrongly Blamed for New Outbreaks that are due to Faulty Vaccines?


4 – DeNoon, Daniel. WebMD, Autism Hits 1 in 88 U.S. Kids, 1 in 54 Boys. 2012.


5 – England, Christina. VacTruth, Studies Prove Without Doubt That Unvaccinated Children Are Far Healthier Than Their Vaccinated Peers. Feb 26, 2014.


6 – *Charts are from these websites.






World Rank


Life Expectancy

# of shots before age 2

Infant Mortality Rate







Hong Kong (China)

























New Zealand















United Kingdom










United States




*This chart shows the world rank of life expectancy for 2014 of all countries analyzed by the The number of shots before age two was calculated by reviewing the immunization schedule from for each country listed. Only larger industrialized nations were included to show this correlation. 

Table 1.

2009 Infant mortality rates, top 34 nations8

Rank Country IMR
1 Singapore 2.31
2 Sweden 2.75
3 Japan 2.79
4 Iceland 3.23
5 France 3.33
6 Finland 3.47
7 Norway 3.58
8 Malta 3.75
9 Andorra 3.76
10 Czech Republic 3.79
11 Germany 3.99
12 Switzerland 4.18
13 Spain 4.21
14 Israel 4.22
15 Liechtenstein 4.25
16 Slovenia 4.25
17 South Korea 4.26
18 Denmark 4.34
19 Austria 4.42
20 Belgium 4.44
21 Luxembourg 4.56
22 Netherlands 4.73
23 Australia 4.75
24 Portugal 4.78
25 United Kingdom 4.85
26 New Zealand 4.92
27 Monaco 5.00
28 Canada 5.04
29 Ireland 5.05
30 Greece 5.16
31 Italy 5.51
32 San Marino 5.53
33 Cuba 5.82
34 United States 6.22

CIA. Country comparison: infant mortality rate (2009). The World Factbook. (Data last updated 13 April 2010).8


Table 2.

Summary of International Immunization Schedules: vaccines recommended/required prior to one year of age in 34 nations

Nation Vaccines prior to one year of age Totalb doses Group (range of doses)
Sweden DTaP (2), Polio (2), Hib (2), Pneumo (2) 12 1 (12–14)
Japan DTaP (3), Polio (2), BCG 12
Iceland DTaP (2), Polio (2), Hib (2), MenC (2) 12
Norway DTaP (2), Polio (2), Hib (2), Pneumo (2) 12
Denmark DTaP (2), Polio (2), Hib (2), Pneumo (2) 12
Finland DTaP (2), Polio (2), Hib (2), Rota (3) 13
Malta DTaP (3), Polio (3), Hib (3) 15 2 (15–17)
Slovenia DTaP (3), Polio (3), Hib (3) 15
South Korea DTaP (3), Polio (3), HepB (3) 15
Singapore DTaP (3), Polio (3), HepB (3), BCG, Flu 17
New Zealand DTaP (3), Polio (3), Hib (2), HepB (3) 17
Germany DTaP (3), Polio (3), Hib (3), Pneumo (3) 18 3 (18–20)
Switzerland DTaP (3), Polio (3), Hib (3), Pneumo (3) 18
Israel DTaP (3), Polio (3), Hib (3), HepB (3) 18
Liechtensteina DTaP (3), Polio (3), Hib (3), Pneumo (3) 18
Italy DTaP (3), Polio (3), Hib (3), HepB (3) 18
San Marinoa DTaP (3), Polio (3), Hib (3), HepB (3) 18
France DTaP (3), Polio (3), Hib (3), Pneumo (2), HepB (2) 19
Czech Republic DTaP (3), Polio (3), Hib (3), HepB (3), BCG 19
Belgium DTaP (3), Polio (3), Hib (3), HepB (3), Pneumo (2) 19
United Kingdom DTaP (3), Polio (3), Hib (3), Pneumo (2), MenC (2) 19
Spain DTaP (3), Polio (3), Hib (3), HepB (3), MenC (2) 20
Portugal DTaP (3), Polio (3), Hib (3), HepB (3), MenC (2), BCG 21 4 (21–23)
Luxembourg DTaP (3), Polio (3), Hib (3), HepB (2), Pneumo (3), Rota (3) 22
Cuba DTaP (3), Polio (3), Hib (3), HepB (4), MenBC (2), BCG 22
Andorraa DTaP (3), Polio (3), Hib (3), HepB (3), Pneumo (3), MenC (2) 23
Austria DTaP (3), Polio (3), Hib (3), HepB (3), Pneumo (3), Rota (2) 23
Ireland DTaP (3), Polio (3), Hib (3), HepB (3), Pneumo (2), MenC (2), BCG 23
Greece DTaP (3), Polio (3), Hib (3), HepB (3), Pneumo (3), MenC (2) 23
Monacoa DTaP (3), Polio (3), Hib (3), HepB (3), Pneumo (3), HepA, BCG 23
Netherlands DTaP (4), Polio (4), Hib (4), Pneumo (4) 24 5 (24–26)
Canada DTaP (3), Polio (3), Hib (3), HepB (3), Pneumo (3), MenC (2), Flu 24
Australia DTaP (3), Polio (3), Hib (3), HepB (4), Pneumo (3), Rota (2) 24
United States DTaP (3), Polio (3), Hib (3), HepB (3), Pneumo (3), Rota (3), Flu (2) 26

a These four nations were excluded from the analysis because they had fewer than five infant deaths.

b DTaP is administered as a single shot but contains three separate vaccines (for diphtheria, tetanus, and pertussis). Thus, DTaP given three times in infancy is equivalent to nine vaccine doses. Immunization schedules are for 2008–2009.9,10


Figure 1.

An external file that holds a picture, illustration, etc.
Object name is 10.1177_0960327111407644-fig1.jpg

2009 Infant mortality rates and number of vaccine doses for 30 nations.


Figure 2.

An external file that holds a picture, illustration, etc.
Object name is 10.1177_0960327111407644-fig2.jpg

2009 Mean infant mortality rates and mean number of vaccine doses (five categories).


Figure 3.

An external file that holds a picture, illustration, etc.
Object name is 10.1177_0960327111407644-fig3.jpg

Reclassification of sudden infant death syndrome (SIDS) deaths to suffocation in bed and unknown causes. The postneonatal SIDS rate appears to have declined from 61.6 deaths (per 100,000 live births) in 1999 to 50.9 in 2001. However, during this period there was a significant increase in postneonatal deaths attributed to suffocation in bed and due to unknown causes. When these sudden unexpected infant deaths (SUIDs) are combined with SIDS deaths, the total SIDS rate remains relatively stable, resulting in a non-significant decline.


7 – Mercola. Blood on Their Hands: The World’s Slickest Con Job and a Stack of Deadly LIES... November 4, 2010.


8 – Beckel, Michael. OpenSecrets. Hordes of Hired Guns Earned About $19 Million Per Day As Lobbying Soared to Nearly $1 Billion in First Quarter. April 29, 2010.


9 – Aufderheide, Jeffry. VacTruth. Who Says There is No Money in Making Vaccines? At Least $5.7 Billion Given to Vaccine Manufacturers in 2011 by US Gov’t. November 30, 2012.


*This shows the two charts from citations [8] for 2010 and [9] for 2011, which are written by different authors, different websites, and different times yet show a strong correlation of lobbyist companies and the companies which received contracts from the government.



Client Q1 Health
Pharmaceutical Research & Manufacturers
of America (PhRMA)
American Medical Association $6,360,000
Pfizer Inc. $4,340,000
American Hospital Association $4,115,000
Merck & Co. $3,220,000
Amgen Inc. $3,070,000
Blue Cross/Blue Shield $2,780,000
Sanofi-Aventis $2,500,000
Eli Lilly & Co. $2,290,000
GlaxoSmithKline $2,240,000






Sanofi Pasteur 200-2011-38199 $1,142,400,000.00 [10]
GlaxoSmithKline 200-2011-38201 $786,456,400.00 [11]
Merck 200-2011-38200 $1,704,454,000.00 [12]
Novartis 200-2011-38204 $451,660,000.00 [13]
Pfizer 200-2011-38203 $1,652,570,000.00 [14]
MassBiologics 200-2011-38202 $11,250,000.00 [15]





10 – National Vaccine Information Center.


11 – NVICP & Vaccine Damage Act payments.

*See this report for details:


12 – Tocco, Mary. Childhood Shots. Biblical Reasons Not to Vaccinate. March 8, 2014.


13 – 1 Timothy 6:10. King James Bible. “For the love of money is the root of all evil: which while some coveted after, they have erred from the faith, and pierced themselves through with many sorrows.”


14 – Representative Dan Burton. Lawmakers Look into Federal Response to Rising Rates of Autism. November 29, 2012.